The grand readership missed a stellar 0 number of posts. Yes, it has been a year I have written. The day job is unkind, and it demands unreal amount of your personal time to wade through, so much so that, the job has become a Stockholm syndrome. It conceals itself under the garb of learning and problem solving but more often than not, it is those mindless logistics and updates to the higher-up kind, who wants a summary of the problem every 2 hours, and one can probably sneak in a game-of-thrones-final-season kind of diatribe, and they would still be asking for the same after few hours.
I tell myself that, it is not decent to rant an opinion but the amount of midnight oil and weekend time I have burnt till now is unfathomable to my health. It is not an achievement. I deserve a higher threshold of decency meter here for ranting at least. Make no mistake, there are good and decent people I know in the firm, but the work is cutthroat and deadlines are silly and unrealistic.
Few months back, I was able to secure a week off for the Tamil Pongal, to reset my health both physically and mentally. I badly needed it. I read few good books and enjoyed some good food and slept my fill. I did try to get back to work-out-ship, but I need more motivation.
But do I like this line of work?
I have been asking myself the same question for the past few months.
Fiscally, it is mighty better than before but factoring in the health, it is poor.
I cannot emphatically say, I like my job.
The work is not intellectually challenging and that is the crux of my issue. The work is tough and challenging because of how it is organized. There is no productive work.
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| plot exhibiting the staleness of my knowledge over time. |
It has been nearly 8 years I dropped out of academic endeavour as I was convinced that I am not in academia for a long haul and wanted to focus on health after a 2-year struggle but as it turns out, I am not in any better place.
I am not learning anymore. In fact, I am more afraid, than I was before, when I treated myself as failure because I am not learning new things. My brain has gone into geriatric nonchalance that it is not able to finish a book or two in a month or cannot compute some quick equations.
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| Time's triangular prison |